[GLOG] The Apocryphal

In Apocryphal doctrine, while the HIGHEST retains HER throne above, the ordinary folk SHE favours are worthy of veneration too. Indeed, it is by far more sensible and respectful to honour HER through an intermediary. Every Apocryphal chooses a saint as their patron, and these saints have all sorts of weird, divergent portfolios and dogmas that leads to widespread suspicion of Apocryphals in general.

I want my players to be able to play these pious misfits, and the various iterations I've seen of a conventional cleric class just didn't seem to fit. I want Apocryphals to be smart and resourceful, to live by their wits as much as their divine mission, to wield their strange powers as they would a crowbar or a bludgeon. These are not the ways of a priest.

No, these are the ways of a scoundrel. A knave. If you will... a thief.

Class: Apocryphal

based on the Guild Thief by Lexi

Starting equipment and skills are determined by your Order.

For each Apocryphal template you possess, you get a cumulative, additive 10% discount on hireling upkeep costs (round to the nearest copper piece), through personal charisma, payment in small miracles, creative accounting, or some combination of the three.

Each Order has six abilities, each with three sequential ranks. Each time you gain an Apocryphal template, you gain and/or upgrade some of these abilities:

A: Choose an Order. Choose two abilities at rank 1.
B: Rank up an ability you have, then choose a new ability at rank 1.
C: Rank up two abilities you have.
D: Rank up two abilities you have, then gain all abilities you don't have at rank 1.

Order of St Eliodoro, the Burning Renewal

art by Arsonist H

The holy arsonist St Eliodoro died in one of his own fires, torching the camp of an army that had brought ruin and misery to the surrounding villages; they say the crops have grown fuller and healthier in that field ever since. Apocryphals of St Eliodoro are scary, volatile rabble-rousers, some fuelled by class consciousness and proto-socialist thought, others by raw, unfiltered hatred.

Being on fire deals 1d6! (1d6, exploding on a 6) damage at the end of the combat round, and is very distracting, preventing you from using magic or concentrating on complex actions. To extinguish it, Save at the start of your turn. You can spend the round stopping, dropping and rolling to make the Save with advantage. Having an adjacent ally pour water over you also works.

Starting equipment: Pitchfork, pocket knife, 3 flasks of lamp oil, stack of cheaply-produced polemic pamphlets, brand of St Eliodoro on the back of your non-dominant hand.
Starting skills: Gain Vandalism, also roll 1d6 - 1) Farmer, 2) Cook, 3) Blacksmith, 4) Forester, 5) Lamplighter, 6) Lighthouse Keeper.

1) Danger Illustrated

Rank 1: You gain an extra attack per round which you can only use against inanimate objects. It always deals maximum damage.
Rank 2: You gain an extra attack per round which you can only use to throw things.
Rank 3: Your attacks against inanimate objects deal double damage, and your attacks with thrown weapons are made with advantage.

2) Fear Addicted

Rank 1: Against any creature that's failed a Morale roll against your side, is trying to flee from you, or is otherwise afraid of you, your attacks deal minimum damage even if they miss.
Rank 2: Once per day, when you win a battle through morale or intimidation, you heal as though you'd just eaten lunch.
Rank 3: You can heal from morale victories twice per day. Once per battle, you can take an action to set yourself on fire (with all the usual effects) to strike fear into your enemies' hearts, forcing a Morale roll from the opposing side.

3) Pain You Tasted

Rank 1: If you have a heat source, you can take an action to deal a willing, adjacent subject 1 fire damage and cauterise their wounds instantly. This stops any bleed damage they might have taken and focuses their mind, granting them a Morale reroll (if they use Morale) and a +2 bonus to their next attack roll.
Rank 2: If you have a heat source, you can take an action to deal a willing, adjacent subject 1d6 fire damage and grant them a new Save against an ongoing malady they're suffering from. You can attempt this once per person per day.
Rank 3: If you have a heat source, you can take an action to deal a willing, adjacent subject 2d6 fire damage and fill them with agonised zeal. They gain advantage on all d20 rolls for a number of rounds equal to the damage dealt.

4) Punkin' Instigator

Rank 1: By spending a day in town doing nothing but rabble-rousing and tubthumping (booze helps), at a cost of 2d6 sp, you can acquire a posse of 1d3+(ability rank) converts. They will follow you around for zero regular pay as long as you keep them fed and ostensibly safe, promise them each a half share of any loot you find, and let them collectively set at least one precious thing on fire per week. If you have a hireling limit, they don't count towards it. They have 0 HD and a Failed Career each, and will not fight except in self-defence. You can't gather a new posse until you dismiss (or lose) your existing one.
Rank 2: Whenever you gather a posse, you may decide that one convert has 1 HD and a single random ability from your Order at Rank 1 (except this one), and will fight for you. This member demands a full share of loot.
Rank 3: You can give any number of your converts a Hit Die and a Rank 1 Order ability each, and they'll fight for you. They will demand full shares of loot.
Also, however much they might be distrusted and whatever they're rumoured to have done, your converts will be left alone by authorities unless they're caught in an illegal act.

5) Trouble Starter

Rank 1: Whenever you spend at least five minutes talking to a group, you learn the primary thing that's making them angry at the moment.
Rank 2: If you present yourself as vocally, violently opposed to the object of a group's anger, they will consider you relatively trustworthy, and will do safe, inexpensive favours for you, as long as they're convinced that you're generally helping their cause.
Rank 3: If you can present a case that some act of unsubtle violence or vandalism will somehow get back at the object of a group's anger, they'll do it for you, even if the case is very weak. They won't do anything suicidal or obviously dangerous, and, if it goes badly, they may blame you - the flimsier your case for doing it, the worse you'll look in the aftermath.

6) Twisted Firestarter

Rank 1: Unless you're stripped naked and divested of all your possessions, you always have the means to start a fire within a minute somewhere on your person. It could be flint and steel, a primitive lighter, or even just a couple of dry twigs to rub together.
Rank 2: Whenever you land a critical hit, or any hit for which you had advantage on the attack roll, you can set the target on fire.
Rank 3: Enemies set on fire by your Rank 2 ability have disadvantage on Saves to extinguish the fire, and it can even affect creatures that couldn't normally catch fire.

Order of St Gerta, the Lady in the Bottle

art by Luca Boni

The short-lived St Gerta was an innkeeper who earned her name by challenging a demon, some say Him Below himself, to a drinking contest. She drank him under the table, thus breaking his hold on her town, but gave herself fatal alcohol poisoning in the process. Her faithful are strong of heart, spirit, and liver, stumbling their way through life by equal parts low cunning and drunken insight.

You can handle one alcoholic drink plus your Constitution modifier with no ill effects, and each drink beyond that expands your critical fumble range by one. The first drink you have with a substantial meal doesn't count. Your drink tally decreases by one every two hours of rest or one hour of vigorous activity, or twice that if you drink water and make an effort to sober up.

Starting equipment: Huge kitchen knife, frying pan, 3 bottles of assorted hard spirits, copper kettle, brand of St Gerta just below your navel.
Starting skills: Gain Carousing, also roll 1d6 - 1) Brewer, 2) Confectioner, 3) Jester, 4) Courtesan, 5) Drifter, 6) Professional Slacker.

1) A Harmless Drunk

Rank 1: When you act drunk, anything from visibly tipsy to completely unconscious, it's indistinguishable from the real thing. As long as you maintain the act, people will treat you as inconspicuous, annoying at worst, unless they have good reason not to.
Rank 2: You can drink a measure of alcohol to fade into the background of a non-hostile setting for an hour or until you change locations. You're still visible, but won't be noticed unless someone draws attention to you. Anyone who was aware of you before you faded out is immune. You make attacks with advantage against anyone who doesn't know you're a threat.
Rank 3: Once per day, you can drink three measures of alcohol to appear anywhere you could physically reach within five minutes, wandering in in a confused stupor. Nobody can block your path, but, if you're stealthed with your Rank 2 ability, this breaks it.

2) Drinking Buddies

Rank 1: By spending a day in town doing nothing but carousing and drunken antics, at a cost of 2d6 sp, you can acquire a posse of 1d3+(ability rank) converts. They will follow you around for zero regular pay as long as you keep them fed and ostensibly safe, promise them each a half share of any loot you find, and give them each at least one alcoholic drink per day. If you have a hireling limit, they don't count towards it. They have 0 HD and a Failed Career each, and will not fight except in self-defence. You can't gather a new posse until you dismiss (or lose) your existing one.
Rank 2: Whenever you gather a posse, you may decide that one convert has 1 HD and a single random ability from your Order at Rank 1 (except this one), and will fight for you. This member demands a full share of loot.
Rank 3: You can give any number of your converts a Hit Die and a random Rank 1 Order ability each, and they'll fight for you. They will demand full shares of loot.
Also, when you visit a drinking establishment, there's always someone present who knows you - give them a Failed Career (actually a Successful Career, in their case) for flavour. Initially, there's a 9-in-10 chance they like you and are willing to buy you and your party a round of drinks and do small favours for you; every time you meet someone who likes you, reduce these odds by 1-in-10. They reset when you meet someone who doesn't like you. And they really don't like you.

3) Heavenly Host

Rank 1: You can spend an extra hour preparing a campsite to be as comfortable as possible for up to five people. If you do, everyone affected wakes up the next morning with 1d3 temporary hit points.
Rank 2: You can prepare a campsite for up to ten people. When you prepare a campsite, you and your companions can ignore uncomfortable heat and cold or lack of shelter (not both). You don't count as helpless while asleep, and wake up instantly if anyone tries to ambush your campsite.
Rank 3: You can prepare a campsite for up to twenty people. When you prepare a campsite, you and your companions ignore all effects that would stop you getting a good night's rest, short of actual damage. You could bed down unprotected in a snowstorm with a brass band playing in your ears, and not only would you get a full eight hours' rest, you'd be immune to potential hypothermia and deafness until you woke up.

4) In Vino Veritas

Rank 1: Once per day, you can ask someone drunk, or someone you've shared at least one alcoholic drink with today, a factual question, and they have a 4-in-6 chance of answering as truthfully as they can. You know whether this worked.
Rank 2: Your Rank 1 ability can be attempted three times per day, but not on the same person twice; targets also won't remember what they told you. Once per day, you can convince a single person who's not actively hostile or currently engaged in combat to sit down and share a drink with you.
Rank 3: Your Rank 1 ability can be attempted seven times per day, and you can use it more than once on the same person. You can convince a group to share a drink with you rather than an individual - the only size limit is how many drinks you have available.

5) Secret Spices

Rank 1: Gain four extra inventory slots that can only hold things that are normally ingested - food, drink, potions, poison, and so on.
Rank 2: If you prepare a mundane meal yourself from raw ingredients (i.e. rations don't count), it feeds twice as many people as it normally would. You can poison or drug food and drink such that it's undetectable until actually consumed (tasters don't work).
Rank 3: If you personally poison or drug food or drink, subjects Save against it with disadvantage, and all present will assume it's "just something they ate"; nobody will suspect foul play unless you give them reason to.

6) To Your Health

Rank 1: If you have an alcoholic drink with lunch, roll the healing die twice and take the better result. You can share this benefit with one other person who eats and drinks with you.
Rank 2: Once per day, you can share a toast to give you and one other person who drinks with you the benefit of a second lunch. (Don't roll this healing die twice.) This takes one minute. After each lunch or toast, you may choose a general type of hazard (fear, fire, disease, etcetera). You automatically pass the next Save you make against that hazard today.
Rank 3: You can toast with as many people as you have drinks for, and, when you choose your automatic Save success, you can give one person toasting with you an automatic success of the same type.

Design Notes

This is something like my fifth attempt at making this super-class. It's been a collection of disparate classes, a set of wizard schools, a single baffling bard-cleric with usage die mechanics for their breath... nothing quite felt right until I realised that Apocryphals, while they're priests by calling, generally act more like thieves than they do like mages or traditional clerics.

The two Orders presented here are pretty different, and this is deliberate, as I'm testing the robustness of the concept. St Eliodoro makes for a dangerous and probably short-lived causer of problems (a punkin' instigator, if you will), but the abilities, like all the best arsonists, hopefully leave room for subtlety. St Gerta resolves into something a bit more like a traditional priest, but A Harmless Drunk and In Vino Veritas can make her followers pretty good social spies too.

I'm aiming for a sort of sliding scale of weirdness with the ability ranks, where Rank 1 is explicable as mundane, up to explicitly supernatural stuff at Rank 3. There's some bleed and not everything fits, but I'm pretty pleased with where it's at for the moment.

Thanks and apologies to Lexi for the elegance of the thief guild system and my mutilation of it.

Maybe I'll write more Orders. This was fun.